Reflection 6

Did I say she teaches me everyday?

Death is extraordinarily like life, when we know how to live. You cannot live without dying. You cannot live if you do not die psychologically every minute.
J. Krishamurti

Photo by Phin

Which is to say that that to be fully in the moment at all times - to accept each person, situation, feeling, event etc as if it were absolutely new (as,of course, it is ) - one needs to die to past experiences of people, situations, feelings events etc.

A mind that it is burdened with the past is a sorrowful mind.

J. Krishamurti

I hate housework. I have not died to my past with dirt in order that I may experience the possibilty of new joy in the dust bunnies and carpet debris of this moment. JoHanna, too, hated housework. It came to mean the caterwauling of the vacuum cleaner - an auditory chaos she could not abide. Even seemed afraid, ironically, as she was never bothered by the heavy power tools in my Shop or on the construction sites we worked. Nor did 3 - 4 hrs in a small room with a crowd of African Drummers and Dancers give her the slightest twinge of discomfort.

Well, I have known for sometime now that my venerable darling has gone largely deaf. Good? Bad? Maybe...

Yesterday, as I assaulted the house with the hated implement of noise and suction, I noticed I was having to work around her. She stood in my way, laid in my way and went so far as to trip over Hoover while I worked and she went about inspecting - her cool wet nose picking up feathers and bird seed I had missed. Obviously, she has forgotten the misery of the vacuum cleaner now that she can no longer hear it.

How many things do I remember hearing, feeling and experiencing that which is no longer part of this new moment? How many times do act/react on memory alone?

HHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhMMMmmmmmmmm.......

Just my Luck!

The only man I've ever loved would be 443 yrs today....

Sonnet CIV
To me, fair friend, you never can be old,
For as you were when first your eye I eyed,
Such seems your beauty still. Three winters cold
Have from the forests shook three summers' pride,
Three beauteous springs to yellow autumn turn'd
In process of the seasons have I seen,
Three April perfumes in three hot Junes burn'd,
Since first I saw you fresh, which yet are green.
Ah, yet doth beauty, like a dial-hand,
Steal from his figure and no pace perceived;
So your sweet hue, which methinks still doth stand,
Hath motion and mine eye may be deceived:
For fear of which, hear this, thou age unbred;
Ere you were born was beauty's summer dead.

If yet he lived... Wm Shakespeare 4/23/1564 -1616

Fill thy tankard, http://www.shakesbrew.co.uk/

cudgel thy brains, http://www.shakespeare-online.com/quiz/

and make merry insult

http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html

that we happy few remember the day!

Photo by Phin

Life is what happens…

while I’m busy contemplating the Universe.

I am lucky enough to have many Kindred Spirits kind enough to not only listen to my palaver but to also present ideas that they would have me explore. Many weeks ago I was in a conversation with one such man regarding the idea that God (read the Essenceof Spirit) is in the details of that which we do everyday. I told him I had a blog with that in mind.

Another friend posed the idea that I simply had to write of my companion JoHanna before such time as I could only write in the past tense. The synchronicity of these two subjects has been evident to me from the outset; making the time, well...

JoHanna is my companion of over fifteen years. We have a relationship that educates me everyday - perhaps the most meaningful relationship ever I have had; she truly knows the secret of unconditional love. It is this deep knowledge, I believe, that allows her to develop friendships and kinships with Two-Leggeds who, otherwise dislike dogs. For those who love & care for Dog People, I'm told she has invited them to look past the clothing and see the Soulful Being inside - that indeed each member of Creation's Peoples' are unique, have intelligence and emotion, can & do contribute to their communities in more than just impact on Nature's Balance. The stories I and others could tell of her would consume many megabytes and in the end, would probably require her very own ISP server.

A short story - I moved into this neighborhood in Nov almost ten years ago. I am given to smoking outside and at that time had a front deck. JoHanna and I are all but inseparable and she too, was out front; always staying within the boundaries of the yard - and sociable as she is - always inviting others or walking the length of the yard with those who passed by. I met many of my neighbors thanks to her; I am an isolationist by nature and would have been quite pleased to to nod silently and let them go their way.

When Dec rolled around, less than a month since we had moved in, a very gruff and grum looking fellow from across the street made his way over one evening as I sat smoking and JoH romped the yard. Low & behold he had a Christmas gift. Not for me, but for her... and the feline companions we shared our home with at the time. He is now one of my best friends. He's in hospital for a bit but asked me to skritch her for him - we have yet to speak on the phone when he doesn't send her a message.

God is in the Details?

Yep. Time goes on and my best gal is aging. Arthritis I expected. In her youth she was an Agility Champ and we free climbed rocks everywhere our truck could take us. She has however, also developed some neurological problems. A tumor is suspected but diagnosis would entail an MRI; that would mean anesthesia... and at her her age... no - I won't do it. Last anesthesia was two years ago and went dreadfully for her. Besides, she has taught me (or tried) about the joy in living; the simple stuff - quality of life is all. Would she enjoy frequent trips to and stays at the Vet? Chemo? Radiation?

Meanwhile she has what I call small seizures or strokes. God is in the details... if I can hold her head and cut out some of the external stimuli that bring these things on when she's vulnerable to them - you bet! Will I feed her by hand when that's what she'd like and needs? Oh yeah! When she's feeling good, can I take her on short walks to visit the neighbors & the 'hood she's become such a fixture in? Absolutely! I'll move her bed to the sun, the Shop, the firepit, the neighbor's driveway or front room, anywhere I am and/or our friends gather that she might be a part of it yet. God is in the details... once in awhile a short romp in the yard, all the goodies she'd like to have, my clothes thrown all over the floor so she can lay wherever she likes when I'm away and know that I'm with her - she chooses my coats over her bed always.

We have not so much time together as we once did. I am painfully aware of this. God is in the details... and anything I can do.