Crossing 2007...

for laughs while trying not to get splattered...

Heraclitus: Because it couldn't cross the same road twice.
Socrates: Tell me, why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good.
Aristotle: All chicken actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire.

Epicurus: For permanent intellectual pleasure.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Heidegger: It sought without presupposition and thus crossed the road to find Nothing.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Spinoza: Because it was time.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Schroedinger: He was looking for his cat.
Niels Bohr: The task is not to find out why the chicken crossed the road. The task concerns what we say about the chicken.
Jean Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Steven Hawking: To get to another Universe

J. Krishnamurti: The chicken acted without thought; it saw the other side and so there was no road to cross. Sir, we have said that "seeing" is action and action is truth. The road may be understood to be the separation between thought and action. The chicken did not think; what I am saying then is that the chicken saw the truth.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken
Confucious: To get back to the other side.
Lao-Tzu: Am I the Chicken dreaming I crossed the road or am I the Road dreaming of being crossed by a chicken?
Krishna: To save thousands of chickens the suffering they would have to endure if had it refused to fulfill it's Kharmic Duty.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Shakespeare: For a muse of fire that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention.
Voltaire: Finding nothing pleasant, it was looking for something new.
Samuel Beckett: What do I know of a chickens destiny? I could tell you more about radishes.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

MadMonk: OOOOoo look - it's a twistie!